Tech support in Medieval times
"Merlin, Inc. technical
support. How may I help you?"
"Yesterday I bought one of
your swords..."
"Congratulations, sir, you've
made the right choice!"
"It doesn't work."
"What do you mean - it doesn't
work?"
"It doesn't cut the dragon's
head."
"Have you read the manual,
sir?"
"My armour- bearer has read it
to me aloud twice."
"Well, sir. Have you taken the
sword out of the sheath?"
"Yes."
"Is that really so? Check it
again, please."
"I've done it, I say to
you!"
"Okay, sir. Now check the edge
sharpness."
"Ouch!" "You
shouldn't do it with your finger, sir."
"What thinger? I did it with
my phongue! I always check the sharpness of my food like that."
"You see, sir, a sword has a
bit different construction than food. In this case the term 'sharp' means....
"I'm not obliged to know
technical terms! I'm a user, not a hardware specialist.
"Yes sir. Did it work
before?"
"I don't know, I bought it
only yesterday!"
"Okay, sir. Have you done
anything with it?"
"No!"
"Are you sure?"
" I only took it out of the
sheath."
"Did you try to grind it
yourself?"
"No"
"Did you try to
install new spells on it?"
"No, I used the default ones,
which are supplied with the sword!"
"Why are you panting
sir?"
"Because the dragon is chasing
me!"
"Oh, so the dragon is near
you?"
"Yes, he is QUITE near!"
"Excellent, sir! Give him the
receiver."
"And what if he bites my arm
off?"
"Sorry sir, medical issues are
beyond our competence."
"Next time I'll buy a sword of
Morgana, Ltd.!" 
"Well... okay, sir.
Describe how the dragon
looks."
"Well, he is ... yellow...
with a red moustache..."
"It's clear now. It's a
non-licensed dragon, a Chinese counterfeit."
"And?"
"Read the license agreement,
sir. Merlin, Inc. doesn't guarantee any compatibility with non-certified devices."
"And what shall I do?"
"Don't use cheap no-name
dragons anymore, sir."
Aaagh! No!
Aaaaarrrgghhh!!!!..."
"Sir? Sir, are you okay?...
Well, in any case, Merlin, Inc. thanks you for your business."

Click
here to try your hand at being a medieval doctor.
Click her to see how many of the medieval hats you
can match to their wearers

Ckick to read about
The Crazy Kings
Ivan the Terrible, King George
III...
They're
all here
Southern Squires
There were three medieval kingdoms
on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, which the kingdoms
had been fighting over for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send
their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.
The night before the battle, the
knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight.
The first kingdom had 12 knights,
and each knight had 5 squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses,
and cooking food.
The second kingdom had 20 knights,
and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle.
At the camp of the third kingdom,
there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from
a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight
polished his own armor.
When the hour of the battle came,
the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the
knights to join in).
The battle raged, and when the dust
cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated
the squires from the other two kingdoms.
This proves that the squire of the
high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides. |