The search to find the
world's funniest joke has been launched by a British scientist.
The huge internet
experiment aims to collect tens of thousands of jokes which will be assessed according to
how funny they are.
By logging onto
www.laughlab.co.uk, people will be able to submit their favourite joke, and rate those
already on the site, using something called a laughometer.
"It is an attempt
to delve into the psychology of humour," Dr Richard Wiseman told the British
Association Festival of Science in Glasgow.
"Are there certain
types of joke being submitted by a certain country, and are there some which are found
funny across the world - a kind of universal joke?"
Brain scans
Dr Wiseman, a
psychologist at the University of Hertfordshire, is researching how humour differs between
nationalities, sexes and age groups.
Once the funniest jokes
have been chosen, the scientists will read them aloud to a group of people and see how
their brain activity changes using MRI scans.
Chakotay: Whatever its reason,
whatever its goals, we should respect its right to cross the road and seek its own
spiritual awareness.
Neelix: Actually, Captain, I'm
not really familiar with the chickens in this system. But, if you can catch it, I can cook
it.
Worf: I don't know. KLINGON
chickens do NOT cross roads.
The HoloDoc: How should I know?
No one tells me anything around here. I didn't even know we added chickens to the crew.
All I know is that it would have been nice, BEFORE the chicken went off to the cross the
road, if it had remembered to turn me off!
Dr. Crusher: If there's nothing
wrong with the chicken, there must be something wrong with the universe.
Dr. Soran: His heart just wasn't
in it. (Scenes of chicken torture with nanoprobes have been edited out.)
Scotty: Because she couldna take
much morrrrrre.
Odo: I don't know, but I'm sure
it must be Quark's fault.
Quark: Who, me?
Troi: I'm not sure..but I can
feel the chicken's pain!
Kira: It was probably being
persecuted by those cursed Cardassians.
Bones: I'm a doctor, not an
ornithologist!
Data: The chicken, in observing
that it was on the opposite side of the 20th-century Terran paved roadway, was aware that
its immediate goal should have been to traverse the distance without interception by any
kind of combustion-propelled personal transport vehicle, but I am unclear as to why any
kind of domesticated fowl should desire to perambulate upon a conveyance normally reserved
for the usage of...yes, sir.
Dr. Bashir: It probably heard
about my amazing medical skills and came to get some pointers.
The Borg: Crossing the road is
irrelevant. The chicken will be assimilated.
Hugh the Borg: Maybe it just
needed a big hug!
B'Elanna: I'm sure it felt
suffocated by all the bleeping regulations of bleeping Starfleet and just couldn't stand
it any longer!
Picard: To get away from the
FOUR! LIGHTS!
Q: Wouldn't you like to know?
Too bad your puny human brain wouldn't be able to comprehend the answer.
Uhura: Shall I open hailing
frequencies so you can ask it, sir?
Chekov: It must have been on its
way to assist in saving my life for the billionth time..did I scream this time?
Khan: With my last breath I spit
at the chicken...
Harry: I don't know, it's my
first mission.
Paris: Well, I think that...say,
that's a lovely shirt you're wearing.
Janeway: Its primary goal was no
doubt to get back to the Alpha Quadrant...and it probably misses its dog.
Nurse Chapel: Oh, Spock!
Lwaxana: Oh, Jean-Luc!
Spock: Fascinating, Captain.
V'Ger: To join with the Creator.
The Grand Nagus: Stupid chicken!
You don't cross the road all at once! You sneak across it quietly, without anyone
noticing!
Gul Dukat: Well, that's a very
interesting question...I'm sure we can work out some kind of arrangement to obtain that
information that will be to everyone's satisfaction.
O'Brien: No problem, Commander,
I'll get right on it.
Wesley: I'm not sure, but I can
figure it out if I reroute these systems and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete
internal whootchacallit on the computers and...
Sisko: It was seeking deeper
meaning. Jake, do you see what we've learned from all this?
Geordi: Well, wherever it's
going, I'm sure it'll have more luck with women than I do.
Sarek: Sometimes logic fails me
where chickens are concerned.
Dax: To get to the other side.
Kurzon might have disagreed with me, Tobin I'm sure wouldn't have had a clue, and then
there's...
Tuvok: That's not a question
we'd prefer to hear from a senior officer. It makes the junior officers nervous.
THE CHICKEN
