Today is the birthday of Wilber Wright
The first working airplane was
invented, designed, made, and flown by the Wright brothers, Wilbur Wright (1867-1912) and
Orville Wright (1871-1948). Their "Wright Flyer" was a fabric-covered biplane
with a wooden index. The power to the two propellers was supplied by a 12-horsepower
water-cooled engine.
On December 17, 1903, the
"Flyer" flew for 12 seconds and for a distance of 120 feet (37 m). The flight
took place at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, USA.
Orville and Wilbur Wright were
raised in Dayton, Ohio. Although they did not go to college, the brothers had intuitive
technical ability. Before building their airplane, they had built a printing press and
operated a bicycle repair and sales shop. They constructed their own bicycles. The profits
from their bicycle business funded their airplane-building venture.
The brothers chose Kitty Hawk to
fly their planes because it was an isolated town on North Carolina's Outer Banks that had
steady winds and sand dunes on which they could glide and land gently, maximizing their
safety. The brothers' first glider, tested in 1900, failed to fly.
A second trial in 1901 fared
better, but they went on to improve the design. Later that year, the brothers built a wind
tunnel in which they tested over 200 wing and airindex designs. This resulted in a
successful glider (unpowered) model (flown in 1902 at Kill Devils Hills near Kitty Hawk).
Back in Ohio, the brothers
designed a 12-horse-
power internal combustion engine which they planned to use to power the flight of a
two-propeller plane. The machinist Charles Taylor helped them build a new plane which
would use this engine.
Returning to Kitty Hawk, they
began test flights in 1903. The engine stalled during a December 14 try (with Orville
flying). After three days of repairs, the plane accelerated on a monorail track and flew
into the air, staying up for 12 seconds; it flew 120 feet. That day, the brothers took
turns flying the plane. On the last flight that day, Wilbur flew 852 feet in 59 seconds.
During the next few years, the
brothers developed more sophisticated planes. They later formed the Wright Company, which
built and sold their airplanes. Wilbur Wright died in 1912 of typhoid fever; Orville died
in 1948.
The Wright brothers' famous
airplane, the "Wright Flyer," is on permanent display at the National Air and
Space Museum in Washington, D.C., USA.
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Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US
Air Force Pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
(P)
Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(M) Almost replaced left inside main tire(P) Test flight OK, except "autoland" is very rough
(M) "Autoland" not installed on this aircraft
 (P) #2 propeller seeping prop fluid
(M) #2 propeller seepage normal -
#1 #3 and #4 propellers lack
normal seepage
(P) Something loose in cockpit
(M) Something tightened in cockpit
(P) Evidence of leak on right
main landing gear
(M) Evidence removed
(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(M) Volume set to a more believable level
 (P)
Dead bugs on windshield
(M) Live bugs on order
(P) Autopilot in altitude hold
mode produces a 200 fpm descent
(M) Cannot reproduce problem on the ground
(P) IFF inoperative
(M) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
 (P) Friction locks cause throttle levers
to stick
(M) That´s what they are there for
(P) Number three engine missing
(M) Engine found on right wing after brief search
(P) Aircraft handles funny
(M) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious
(P) Target Radar hums
(M) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words
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 The Story of the $10.00 Airplane Ride
Fred and his wife
Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, "Edna, I'd like to
ride in that there airplane." And every year Edna would say, "I know Fred, but
that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, "Edna, I'm 71 years old. If I
don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Edna replied,
"Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten
dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both
up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't
charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."
Fred and Edna agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls
and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a
word.
They land and the pilot turns to Fred, "By golly, I did everything could think of to
get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Fred replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Edna fell out, but ten dollars is
ten dollars." |
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 The
Stand-Up Steward-
ess
Occasionally, airline attendants
make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and their other
announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real
examples that have been heard or reported:
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this
airplane..."
And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you
enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes
over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have
them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money,
more than Southwest Airlines."
Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for
flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through
the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US
Airways."
I was on a Southwest flight once that was delayed at the gate after everyone
boarded. The flight attendant said over the intercom, "We're sorry for the
delay. The machine that normally rips the handles off your luggage is broken, so
we're having to do it by hand. We should be finished and on our way shortly."
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the
runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at
the door while the passengers exited, give a smile, and a "Thanks for flying XYZ
airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the
passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone
had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny,
mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no M'am, what is it?" "Did we land
or were we shot down?"
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Actual Conversations With
Air Traffic Control
"Air Force '45, it appears your engine has...oh, disregard...I see you've already
ejected."
"About three
miles ahead, you've got traffic 12 o'clock, five miles."
"You're gonna have to key the mic. I can't see you when you nod your head."
"Don't anybody maintain anything."
"Climb like your life depends on it...because it does."
"If you want more room, captain, push your seat back."
"Hello flight 56, if you hear me rock your wings.." "OK TOWER, IF YOU HEAR
ME ROCK THE TOWER!!"
Lost Cessna Pilot: "Big airport with a little Cessna 150 overhead, please identify
yourself!"
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Pilot to Pilot Tips
"I would like to die in my sleep like my father did, not in screaming terror, like
his passengers."
 You know you´re
flying a Cessna when you have a bird strike and it is from behind!
747 on final approach at 1000' off the deck. First Officer asks Captain "Are you
happy with the position of the landing gear, sir?" Captain reaches down, lowers the
gear and lands safely.
"I hate to wake up and find my co-pilot asleep"
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You Know You're a Redneck Pilot If...
.. you think GPS stands for going
perfectly straight.
... your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
... you've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
... you refer to flying in formation as "We got ourselves a convoy!"
... when you are the owner of Red Neck Airlines and pilot of Redneck One.
... you have ever responded to Air Traffic Control with the phrase "That's a big
10-4!"
... you typically answer female controllers with titles like "sugar" or
"little darlin'."
... she responds with the words "Honey" or "Big guy" then she may be a
redneck.
... you have ever tried to impress your girlfriend by buzzing her doublewide.
... your go/no-go checklist includes the words "Skoal" or "Redman."
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Through the eyes of a
Pilot
How many pilots does it take to
change a light bulb? Just one. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
How do you know if a pilot is at
your party? He'll tell you.
How do you know when you are half
way through a date with a pilot?
Because he says: "That's enough about flying, let's talk about me"!
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