More Rules of Life

I've learned- that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. 

I've learned-  that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. 

I've learned-  that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. 

I've learned-  that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts. 

I've learned-  that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.    After that, you'd better know something. 

I've learned-  that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do. 

I've learned-  that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. 

I've learned-  that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. 

I've learned-  that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. 

I've learned-  that you can keep going  long after you think you can't. 

I've learned-  that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. 

I've learned-  that either you control your attitude or it controls you.    

I've learned-  that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. 

I've learned-  that heroes are the people who do what has to be done     when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. 

I've learned-  that money is a lousy way of keeping score. 

I've learned-  that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. 

I've learned-  that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up. 

I've learned-  that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. 

I've learned-  that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. 

I've learned-  that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 

I've learned-  that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. 

I've learned-  that you should never tell a child  their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.  Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it. 

I've learned-  that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological. 

I've learned-  that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while  and you must forgive them for that. 

I've learned-  that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.     Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself. 

I've learned-  that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. 

I've learned-  that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. 

I've learned-  that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned-  that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. 

I've learned-  that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever. 

I've learned-  that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. 

I've learned-  that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process. 

I've learned-  that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you. 

I've learned-  that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. 

I've learned-  that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. 

I've learned-  that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon. 

I've learned-  that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting  people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

Customer Service Month & Golden Rule Week

Both of these are brought together in the history of one outstanding merchant, James Cash Penney. He invented the "money back" guarantee as well as the concept of one price for all, quality products (not attempting to trick the buyer with poor quality merchandise) and friendly customer service.

Golden Rule Store, 1908 "The friendly smile, the word of greeting, are certainly something fleeting and seemingly insubstantial. You can't take them with you. But they work for good beyond your power to measure their influence."   Many courtesies that today's customers expect from a retail store such as money-back returns, standardized pricing, high quality merchandise, and friendly customer service simply were not widely practiced when Mr. Penney opened his first store in Kemmerer, Wyoming, in 1902. In those days, many merchants operated their businesses under the motto "caveat emptor" - let the buyer beware!       Customers had to be on their guard against shoddy merchandise, fraudulent claims about quality, deceptive dual pricing systems, highly discriminatory sales practices, and rude, uncaring sales people.       In naming his first store the Golden Rule, Mr. Penney boldly proclaimed the idea that set his store apart from his competitors, namely, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." In doing so, he forever changed the way Americans do business with retail merchants and the way they shop at stores.   Choosing the name Golden Rule was no coincidence. Penney's association with the Golden Rule reached back to the examples set by his parents on a small farm outside his boyhood home of Hamilton, Missouri. Penney's father was a minister who preached the better part of his life.   He raised his son very strictly and taught him to believe in the practical application of the Golden Rule. His mother, a devout woman, taught her son the value of service to others by example in the way she lived her life for the benefit of those around her.   Years later Penney explained, "In setting up a business under the name and meaning of the Golden Rule, I was publicly binding myself, in my business relations, to a principle which had been a real and intimate part of my family upbringing. To me the sign on the store was much more than a trade name...We took our slogan 'Golden Rule Store' with strict literalness. Our idea was to make money and build business through serving the community with fair dealing and honest value." Today the J.C. Penney Golden Rule Award is   awarded for outstanding volunteerism.         Source Site

The Law of Reciprocity

With the recent reporting of unethical behavior by some executives in Corporate America, it may be time to publicly discuss business ethics.

Unethical behavior, in which people deliberately intend to harm themselves or others, springs from, and is reinforced by, destructive and painful mind states such as fear, greed, anger and jealously. Ethical behavior, on the other hand, enhances the well-being of everyone because it comes from, and reinforces, motives and emotions such as love, joy, generosity and compassion.

Many people in these uncertain times are asking themselves questions like---"What kind of person am I trying to be?" and "What am I trying to hold on to?" Asking ourselves these questions can help us move from where we are today toward ethical behavior by becoming more self-aware. Moving from an "egocentric" state to a "world-centric" state can help us understand what others need and how we can give it to them.

Are you putting the Law of Reciprocity to work for you?

 

This 'law of love' is identified in many ways and cultures, such as:

It's the golden rule of Christianity, "Do unto others as you want them to do unto you."

The silver rule of Confucianism, "Don't do to others as you don't want them to do to you."

In business practice, Wayne Baker's bestseller, "Achieving Success Through Social Capital" (Jossey-Bass), defines this law of love in the workplace as the 'law of reciprocity'.

The law of reciprocity is not what can best be described as "transactional reciprocity." Baker says that, "Many people conceive of their business dealings as spot market exchanges--value given for value received, period. Nothing more, nothing less. This tit-for-tat mode of operation can produce success, but it doesn't invoke the power of reciprocity and so fails to yield extraordinary success."

Baker explains, "The lesson is that we cannot pursue the power of reciprocity. When we try to invoke reciprocity directly, we lose sight of the reason for it: helping others. Paradoxically, it is in helping others without expecting reciprocity in return that we invoke the power of reciprocity. The path to reciprocity is indirect: reciprocity ensues from the social capital built by making contributions to others."

"The deliberate pursuit of reciprocity fails, just like the pursuit of happiness. Acts of contribution, big and small, build your fund of social capital, creating a vast network of reciprocity. And so those who help you may not be those you help. The help you receive may come from distant corners of your network."

Source Site