| 1. When you
arrive at the mall he: a.
Says "Let's shop together. It'll be fun."
b. Says "Meet me in hardware."
c. Vanishes.
2. In men's clothing he:
a. Asks your opinion and compliments your
taste.
b. Buys a tie he already owns.
c. Bemoans the demise of the leisure suit.
3. In lingerie he:
a. Says you look sexy in an oversized robe.
b. Asks you to model see-through garments
too small to identify.
c. Hands you a Wonderbra.
4. While checking out men's
underwear he:
a. Agrees to try argyle socks.
b. Balks at replacing torn shirts because
"They're broken in just right."
c. Doesn't know his size. ("Mommy
always buys my shorts.")
5. When you try on a dress he:
a. Tells you everything looks great.
b. Checks the price before giving an
opinion.
c. Snores.
6. At the jewelry counter he:
a. Admires a pair of his-and-her gold
rings.
b. Claims to prefer flashy trinkets.
c. Promises to buy you something nicer
"off the truck."
7. In electronics he:
a. Helps you choose a home computer.
b. Asks for easy-to-use software for the
"little lady."
c. Watches the game.
8. At the video store he:
a. Finds a classic film you'll both enjoy.
b. Hides out in the "adults only"
department.
c. Suggests you buy a work-out tape.
9. In the book shop he:
a. Walks you to fiction where you discuss
favorite authors.
b. Tells you he could write a Best Seller,
if he only had the time.
c. Sprints to the swimsuit calendars.
10. In the record store he:
a. Finds you a long sought cd on the
discount rack.
b. Heads for hard rock.
c. Asks for the 45's.
11. At the toy mart he:
a. Helps select a game for your nephew.
b. Plays "People" non-stop on the
electric piano.
c. Elbows children aside to play video
games.
12. At "Pets R Us" he:
a. Oohs and aahs at kittens and pups.
b. Sneezes violently.
c. Mentions a childhood mishap involving
parakeets and snakes.
13. In the pharmacy he:
a. Whips out a shopping list.
b. Pretends not to know you, while you ask
for tampons:
c. Makes you buy the condoms.
14. At the supermarket he:
a. Says "You do aisles 1 to 8 and I'll
handle 9 to 16."
b. Spends hours selecting beer and chips.
c. Appears stunned by the invention of
scanners."
15. If the supermarket line is long
he:
a. Offers to save your place while you look
around.
b. Pressures you to leave.
c. Wanders off to munch on "free
samples."
16. If something you bought is
defective he:
a. Offers to return it.
b. Tries to convince you it "isn't all
that bad."
c. Hides to avoid "a scene."
When you've finished this quiz, total your
abc's. If you have ten or more a's, you two may safely attempt a trip to the mall. Fewer
than ten a's? Seriously consider leaving him home.
And if you have more than ten c's, check
his parents' refund policy. Perhaps his folks will take him back.
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