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Everything I needed to know, I
learned from comic books
Helping your fellow man
requires no reward.
Criminals are a cowardly, superstitious lot.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Knowing is half the battle.
Try to be the best at every possible human endeavor.
If you break the law, you belong in jail.
Glasses will make people consider you in a different light.
Don't get angry. People won't like you when you're angry.
Cops make excellent friends.
Keep an extra set of clothes handy in case yours get ripped.
Graciously leave when your business is concluded.
Answer calls for help.
Even scantily clad women deserve respect.
Exercise.
The smartest person in your group may be in a wheelchair.
Learn how to use a computer.
Don't let your ego get in the way of asking for help from others.
People you think you know may have hidden talents.
Intelligence and wisdom are not the same thing.
Crime does not pay. |
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Everything I need to
know about life:
I learned from Noah's Ark...
One: Don't miss the boat.
Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the
Ark.
Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do
something really big.
Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to
be done.
Six: Build your
future on high ground.
Seven: For safety's
sake, travel in pairs.
Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with
the cheetahs.
Nine: When you're stressed, float a while.
Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by
professionals.
Eleven: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a
rainbow waiting.
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 All I Need
To Know
I Learned
From Santa
1. Encourage people to believe in you.
2. Always remember who's naughty and who's nice.
3. Don't pout.
4. It's as much fun to give as it is to receive.
5. Some days it's ok to feel a little chubby.
6. Make your presents known.
7. Always ask for a little bit more than what you really want.
8. Bright red can make anyone look good.
9. Wear a wide belt and no-one will notice how many pounds you've gained.
10. If you only show up once a year, everyone will think you're very important.
11. Whenever you're at a loss for words, say "HO, HO, HO!"
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